Being Okay

Last week, or a couple weeks ago I was checking out my friend Kim's blog, kimbundance.com and fell in love with this song, "be ok" by Ingrid Michealson. I heard this song once before, but sometimes you can listen to the same song again and feel something different a second time. At this point in my experience, I feel like I am being okay. I've finally gotten to the point where I can just co-exist and enjoy the present moment without any anxiety or homesickness. Of course, I will always miss my loved ones, but I am learning right now to take advantage of this experience, because time is passing relatively quickly.

Someone close to me said something that really hurt, but was also somewhat of a wake up call. I've never been the kind of person that cares too much about what people think of me. In fact, I thrive on being able to live my life without worrying about peoples opinions on the subject. But, in no way does that mean that I don't care about my life. One of the most important things I've learned in my travels abroad is that, you have to learn to take things as they come. Therefore, I've adopted a very casual outlook on life. There's no sense in stressing about life, and having things all planned out, because your whole life can change in a second. And this is coming from someone that loves to plan, plan, plan.

I lived my life through planning, hoping, and anxiously waiting for what is to come next; and all it's ever gotten me is stress anxiety, and unhappiness. I rarely enjoy much of anything, because of this anxiousness that stems from forcing myself to come up with a plan for what's next in life. I've decided, that it's time to just go with it. I know I have what takes to lead a happy and successful life. It's time I start living it. Afterall, plans are nothing if not put into action, so I choose to do less planning and more acting, living, and seizing the life I used to plan for. I have to start believing that I already am this great person I strive to be, and I have to start loving myself, like I want others to love me.