Time is a funny friend, it is always two seconds too early or two hours too late. It comes unexpectedly because you always believe you'll have more of it; and when it's gone it leaves forever never coming back. For much of my life I've felt like time, a little too early or a little too late. Essentially, I've never been able to live in the present. Being a sentimental person, I'm often missing someone or something and/or daydreaming about the future, and making all these detailed plans. This is all well and good, except for the fact that I never enjoyed NOW. I've been just trying to get through and rush through, and worry about what's next or what wasn't right before that, and I forgot how to live. I forgot what it feels like...this crazy thing called life.


It'll be four months next week....and I can safely say I'm adjusting to living in Korea. I don't like it, or dislike it, I'm simply indifferent. I feel like time is moving pretty quickly and if I'm not careful I will have experienced everything without documenting anything. Hence, me getting back to my blogging, and picture taking even though I hate taking pictures. To sum up my observations so far, I came up with a Top 10 list!

Top 10 Things I like about Korea:

1. Foreigners are treated like rockstars
2. If you talk really fast most people will have no idea what you're saying...even though most people have no idea what you're saying at any speed
3. Cabs/transportation is inexpensive; Korea is the size of Indiana you can easily see get to anywhere in the country
   
4. English teachers have a pretty easy-going lifestyle: rent-free living, paid vacation, 50% coverage on health insurance (which is ridiculously cheap) and other misc perks of being a Native English Teacher
5. Everyone compliments you on how attractive you are and how good you are at doing the most remedial things
6. Foreigners get into most clubs/bars for free
   
7. If you're a foreigner you can get things for free or get what's called "service" at restaurants meaning complimentary
8. The food is awesome and very healthy
   
9. Education is highly valued
   
10. The people in general are kind and helpful to foreigners, and although most are extremely ignorant, they honestly just don't know.

Top 10 Things I Hate About Korea

1. This unscheduled/unexpected appointments, business trips, meetings, etc and all around wishy-washiness
2. Everyone bum rushes you whenever there's a line because Koreans are always in a hurry
3. The smoking...ugh it's everywhere
4. Constant obsession with physical appearance...it's beyond vain there are mirrors everywhere you look...most of my teachers have them at their desks. Some restaurants have them at the table you sit at!
   
5. The staring, I'm used to it
6. The pouring drinks for someone that is older than you and making sure their glass is never empty. Am I supposed to stare at your glass all night....can I live?
   
7. The random semi-english words on sweaters, signs, food products, etc.
8. The ridiculously cold weather
9. No tubs, no ovens, no dryers!
   
10. Ignorance!
    

Sorry It's Been So Long...

I know it has been awhile since I have posted anything. But things are going...I feel like I am finally starting to get into the rhythm of living out here. I feel the novelty of Korea wearing off and it's starting to feel less like a vacation and more like a temporary living situation. In fact, I have to remember that even though I am going to be here for a year I am still a visitor and I need to take pictures. Nevertheless, I still and will always miss friends, family, and my boyfriend back home. It has also hit me just this week, that wow I don't have an oven. And it just made me think of all the delicious food I used to cook using an oven. T.I.K. (This Is Korea) I can barely go on allrecipes.com because it just makes my mouth water. But what can I do? I try to make the best out of my little hot plate and rice cooker, which is pretty handy for boiling things.

Everyone keeps telling me that this is an experience I will appreciate after I experience it and I truly agree. Right now, I am going in and out of the "I hate Korea phase" and the "adjustment phase" of my culture shock. Ups and downs, if I didn't know the meaning then, I do now. However, I am really greatful for one of my co-teachers; she has gone out of her way to make things so much easier for me. The other day she took me out to dinner and a movie and I made the mistake of picking Final Destination 4, it was a tough call because nothing was really playing that I wanted to see, the other two choices were The Gamer and The Surrogates. Yeah...I honestly forgot how gory and bloody Final Destination is. I felt so awful afterwards for making her sit through it, but we joked about it and had a good laugh. We both agreed that a romantic comedy is a safe choice for the next movie. It was refreshing to have an outing with her, because I always feel a little distant from the teachers at my school. I don't know maybe it's my paranoia or maybe not, but I felt like this was an icebreaker. Plus, it's always convenient and awesome to go somewhere with a Korean and not have to play a game of charades everywhere you go because you can't speak the language.
Other than that, not much else to say...I'm almost at my two month mark which will be on Monday the 19th; two months down ten more to go!

The Week Was Hell, So Heaven Sent Seoul

This week was hands down one of the worst weeks in my life. Dawn and I were both robbed; she was robbed on Sunday and I was robbed on Wednesday. It was so obvious that the bastard singled us out because we were foreign, knew our schedule, and has been watching us for quite some time. The whole week I went from depressed, to scared, to pissed. A million thoughts were racing through my head a mile a minute. SHould I go home? Should I quit my job or offer them some ultimatum? I felt helpless; here I am a 22 year old adult, and I cannot even call the police because of the language barrier. Inadequate and vulnerable I sobbed for many days and went through the motions at work waiting for the weekend to come around. I have never felt so lonely and lost in my life. I asked God "when am I going t catch a break?"

Sure enough as He always does God came through and showed me one of the best weekends I've ever had since I came to Korea. On Saturday we went to Seoul, which is the NYC of Korea. Talk about reverse culture shock, I could not believe how many black people I saw. I felt like I was back in Atlanta. In Seoul, there are several military bases and because of this it is a melting pot of foreigners from around the world. As one could imagine I felt right at home, enjoying my Western meal and meeting so many people. Thanks to some awesome friends (Keethia and company) we did so much in one night: Icebar, S Club, Sensations, street gyros, and hookah. We went into one club and it was like all black people, I thought wow this is possible...in Korea. WHo would have thought? Plus, a friend of mine went to a salon ran by Koreans of course that specializes in black hair; dreads, braids, weaves, perms, you name it! Seoul was literally exactly what my soul needed to get me back on track.

Also, my school has had the locks changed on our doors and had management put up cameras in the hallways. They are also working on getting us moved to another safer building. Positive thinking is going to get me through this rough patch along with awesome friends I continue to make. Thank you God for showing me light at the end of this dark tunnel.

It's the Eyeballs!!!

Most people think the fear of public speaking comes from the amount of people in the room, or who's in the room, but really it's the eyeballs that freaks people out. During my EPIK training one of the lecturers pointed this out to us, and I thought it over and she was completely right. I've taught 3rd, 5th and 6th grade, and even Korean teachers; it is the same no matter which group is in the room. Everytime I'm about to present I get that queasy feeling in the pit of my stomach, and my mouth gets real dry and starts to feel like cotton. I have that mental conversation with myself, "c'mon don't freak out" and I feel the calm before the storm until I make that first initial eyeball to eyeball contact. Now, that first eye contact can be crucial, especially if you fear public speaking as much as I do. The eyes can meet and you can have that friendly look like, "ya you're doing great, I totally agree" or you can have the eyeballs that give you that smirk like, "what the hell are you saying up there. "If you feed into it too much it can bring you down real fast, and before you know you're stumbling on all your words, constantly saying "yeah and um, and like, and you know..."and worst case scenario you totally blank out. However, the friendly eyeballs can give you that boost you need and you can totally breeze through the rest of the presentation. Whatever, the case I've learned you have to be ready for whatever eyeballs come your way. Man did I have some set of eyeballs stare me down today. Today was nerve racking because it was a Friday, and so naturally I'm like "TGIF" I have no classes and I can just sit at my desk and work at my own pace. However, today was different because it was the first introduction/lesson for my English Club with the Korean teachers at my school. I felt as though I truly did my best to present the material in a way they could understand without being condescending. But I had a mix of eyeballs; many people nodded there heads in agreement, others had interesting looks on their face. Mainly, I was worried about everyone understanding me and if anyone would come back next week. But, after my presentaton my co-teacher Bo-mi told me that I did a very good job and that she thinks they understood for the most part, what I was saying. She said I just need to slow down. Nevertheless, this is going to be a very interesting "conversational" class; there was not much conversation going on during this first class. I will give them a chance to warm up and plus I have to remember that Koreans are EXTREMELY shy. These people did not even want to introduce themselves, I thought that maybe there English was just terrible, but after they made there introductions I was pleasantly surprised to find that everyone's English was fairly good. Aside, from the awkward tension at the end and in between me talking I was pleased I made it out alive! I guess I'll just have to wait and see who comes back after today, hopefully it's not just Bo-mi and I! Anyways, to wrap things up, my week was exhausting but rewarding. I'm starting to feel more and more like a teacher; every week I get more comfortable speaking and interacting with everyone at my school. There is hope for a public speaking phobic, stick it out, don't be afraid to make a fool of yourself, because it will happen; especially if you're an American in Korea. I'm taking life lightly, laughing at my bloopers and living in the moment. The second picture in this post is Expo Bridge, a very famous and beautiful bridge in Daejeon, next to the Science Expo Museum. Daejeon is famous for science and technology. Also, friends and family please continue to leave me comments even if it's short and sweet, they really are pick-me-ups when I've had a bad day or am feeling homesick. I really appreciate them, thanks!

We're So Ethnic!

This weekend was AWESOME!! I chillaxed with friends and made more adventures in Daejeon. One of our friend's came to visit from Busan and we went to our very first club! Club Cocoon was the name of it and it was a hip-hop club. It was so interesting how a genre of music can cross over into various countries and totally influence the culture. As soon as I stepped into the club I felt like I was back in the states, Jay-z was playing and Walk It Out, I almost felt like I was back in Atlanta! The bar offered free drinks until 4 am and the bartenders were doing fancy tricks juggling bottles in the air. The look was very 1999 urban hip-hop;one of the bartenders had some form of doo-rag on his head, hilarious to say the least. While we were there we made friends with a club promoter from Africa, he showed us around the club and introduced us to some of the Korean friends he made while living here for the last year. Making Korean friends is still on my list of things to do while I'm out here so that my language disability can eventually fade, and I can move around like a somewhat normal person. But yes the club was alive everyone at the bar was enjoying themselves and the music was bumping, all until we got to the dance floor. Although the place was packed everyone was grooving to the music like deranged zombies swaying from side to side. After a few more drinks the Americans (me-goos) and Africans decided to show them how it's done. We made our way to the dance floor and inspired a few Koreans to rethink their dance moves. Soon after we were on stage and all eyes were on us, (normally I would feel so awkward but intense staring is the story of my life out here so what can you do!) What happened after I was not ready for, I was snatched up by an overly excited 20 something year old Korean guy that was getting a little too fresh. It made me think back to our tips at orientation and how all the guest speakers were like oh no Korean guys are very passive, I thought to myself mmmmhm if this was the states he would of got a slap in the face and a kick in the balls! But I thought to myself it's best I do this in a subtle manner and "save face" as we were taught to do. Sidenote: saving face is a term used to describe the Confuscius way of thinking Koreans follow. In Korean society you must always save face, and beware of saving face for others, to not publicly humilate anyone. So I gave my friend the eye, (you know, the come save me right now eye) and he slowly whisked me away from the crazed dancer. After a few more dances and a few more laughs we decided to head back to our places of residences and get some sleep.

Saturday: Was a zombie day and a night owl night for me. I woke up early thanks to all the banging on my door from my friends. Later on that night we went to dinner and had samyopsun which is pork bbq Korean style. It's absolutely near impossible to shy away from pork in Korea; Korea is a pork nation. Apparently, beef is a delicacy here and much of the restaurants you'll find will have little pork cartoon characters on the sign. So to say the least, I'm a little tired of all the pork products, I actually would of been a lot happier with KFC believe it or not I'm missing American food. Nevertheless, I had to be a crowd pleaser and decided to go with the flow. My mood Saturday was kind of withdrawn, I really wanted to chill, listen to my friend play his acoustic guitar which he name Michelyah and maybe have a coffee or watch a good movie. Sidenote: Paul is our corky South African friend that actually had us believing that Michelyah was his girlfriend he brought with him to Korea and hid in his room for all 9 days of orientation. But since we haven't seen each other in a bit everyone wanted to hit the bars. The first place we went to looked like Olive Garden inside minus the bright lighting they always have. As soon as we walked in a table of Koreans fell in love with my friend Paul, it was like they had known each other forever. They called him over, offered him drinks and were laughing it up. Next thing I knew Paul was arm wrestling this giant Korean guy who basically toyed with him before he totally slammed his arm on the table. After that moment of male bonding, the Korean table and our table became friends and everyone was cheersing with the other and taking photos. Koreans are very serious about their picture taking; I think we must have taken 10 shots for one picture because the guy that was taking our picture was a perfectionist and kept trying to get that perfect shot! Then another guy that was from Japan decided to take on the big Korean for an arm wrestling match. Now to the uneducated eye this would seem like harmless good fun, but the history of Korea leaves a bitter taste in Korean peoples mouths whenever there is any talk of Japan. So this friendly match was friendly with slightly hostile undertones. When the Japanese guy won the big Korean was so disappointed and continued to sulk until he demanded a rematch and was defeated again! But all in all both crowds were good sports and loved us. As they got up to leave this one Korean guy that I had took a picture with earlier that night came up to our table and told us girls how stunningly beautiful we all were. He then drew out a heart with his fingers and pointed me out saying, "oh so beautiful so beautiful." I was pretty embarrassed and politely said kamsaneeda (thank you). It really made me feel good that whenever we go out we are always greeted so warmly by people, because before coming here I did quite a bit of research on what it's like to be a foreigner in Korea, and what I gathered was that Koreans didn't like Americans much less black Americans in particular. But I can honestly say that I have not experienced or felt "that kind of vibe" at all since I've been here. It has actually been the exact opposite. I think that Korean people are very fascinated by my black friends and I and are pleasantly surprised that we do not live up to some of the dreadful negative images depicted of black people on television. Not a day goes by that I don't have someone telling me how beautiful I am or how great my teeth are. It's pretty sweet and not only is it a self-esteem booster but in a way I feel like a mini ambassador showing this country that black people are smart, educated, beautiful, and positive. If I can leave here knowing I enlightened at least one person I'd be more than fulfilled. That's why everyday I get up for work, I put on my best clothes and always make sure that my image is respectable, professional, all while still being true to my identity. I understand that at the end of the day I represent myself more than anything, but I've also come to understand that my experience here is bigger than just me and my experience; I am a representative of my country and a representative of my mixed heritage and I try to carry myself as such. There is only so much you can get from reading books and going to school, ultimately the things that shape our perceptions most are those organic interactions we have with people. So yes there are days when I don't feel like getting out of bed, and yes there are days that I question why am I here I'm tired of this, but knowing that I have a purpose here whether it's just walking down the street and flashing a smile to someone or teaching a class keeps me going when I feel like quiting.

Jumping with my eyes closed

You know this weekend is one of those days where nothing is wrong with you at all but you are just in a funk and can't seem to shake it off. I had a great day at school, made some progress getting to know my teacher, and even took some pictures to show everyone back home. But it was like when I got back to my place my mood seemed to slip really fast. Dawn and I wanted to do something fun this weekend but not spend too much because we haven't gotten our first paychecks, so we went to dinner right around the corner from our building. It was pretty uncomfortable because we didn't really know what to order and the restaurant wasn't the cleanest which really ruined any appetite I had. After that we had to go up and ask for the check and the whole time we were there she knew we couldn't speak Korean and she told us the price in Korean and we were like uhhh....can you right the check number down like they normally do? So, that dinner wasn't so hot and we tried again to walk around our neighborhood and do some exploring and we discovered that there wasn't much to explore except for some restaurants, markets, and a zillion PC cafes.
That was Friday night. Saturday and Sunday were a lot better, after hours of sulking I got out of my funk and decided to make the best out of things. Dawn and I watched some movies: Remember the Titans (oh I love it so much), Slumdog Millionaire, and I am Legend (which still freaks me out.) and after that we went for a walk/jog around our neighborhood. Wooo that was quite the workout, and you know I'm glad we did because we saw some more cool shops a place that does eyebrow, and some bakeries with some delish cakes on display! Yum! Oh ya, and the best news of all, I got my magic jack to work so friends and family please email, skype, or facebook me to get the number. If you don't know what magic jack is, it is this awesome internet phone gadget you just plug into your computer and you can change your number to whatever area code you want. Mine is a random Michigan number because my mom's friend that had it before is from there. I'm going to look into changing it to a California number but I don't think it really matters no one gets charged for out of state calls anymore. So ya that is my update on my weekend!

Unfortunate Events Seem So Unavoidable

Tonight I found out from a friend that a sophomore at Spelman College was shot and killed at Clark Atlanta University. Apparently, a fight had broke out by an outside party and the spelman student was killed by the stray bullet. It really makes me so mad that this bs had to happen. When I went to Spelman I always felt that even though our school was in a bad area maybe the community around us would feel inspired by what we were trying to do; enough to make sure that situations such as this would not happen on our campuses where individuals are trying to learn and make better lives for themselves. Unfortunately, I have been far too optimistic about the world we live in. How do you even explain something like this to this girls family? How are students going to feel safe again? And where the HELL was security? This is supposed to be an academic institution my God!

I hope and pray that the students of the AUC take action and speak out against this situation and issues that lead to it.

http://www.ajc.com/news/atlanta/spelman-student-killed-on-130043.html?cxntlid=brkng_nws_bnr

So today was my first day as song-sang neem or teacher at my school Sin-gye Elementary. It was not too bad, for this first week I am only doing introductions. So I made a power point about me, my family, and friends, and ofcourse random facts about Marley. I think it went well. For one of the slides I have a picture of different flags and students have to guess where I am from. Many students guessed Canada and England, and I got a couple of Africas and one Jamaica lol. But for the most part everyone figuered I was from the US. It was so funny to see how excited students were to see a foreign teacher. Also, just the way teachers are treated out here in general is really refreshing. Students bow and are so polite and respectful, I don't think we will ever see that in the US. Plus, some students are at school literally from sun up to sundown, after school lets out at 3pm some students go to an academy or what they call private school to study more English and are usually there until 10pm at night! But for the most part I felt good about my first day, there were some awkward moments; like at lunch. At orientation we were told that a lot of Koreans don't like to talk during meals because they are in a hurry and are trying to just hurry up and shovel their food down. One of the previous EPIK teachers told us that lunch one day his co-teacher had to tell him that he talked too much during lunch! lol. So needless to say, I wasn't trying to strike up any conversations so the silence was a little awkward. But my co-teacher, Bo-mi is always really sweet and made some small talk with me. That's all for 1st day news can't wait to meet all my classes next week!

The Early Stages of Life in Daejeon, Korea

Last week I just finished my EPIK Orientation. I was really impressed with the welcome we as teachers in training received from EPIK. I already miss my class leaders and truly appreciate all they have done to help us out. I met some cool people, made some awesome friends, and saw breath-taking sights.

It is slowly hitting me that I am actually living in Korea. I moved into my "apartment" which is more like a room, three days ago. After three hours of scrubbing and bleach Dawn and I put the homey touches on it and I felt a little bit at home. In orientation they described the stages of culture shock as: the honeymoon phase, the everything sucks phase, the adjustment phase, and the reverse culture shock phase. For me the honeymoon phase was short lived, it comes back every now and then but mostly I am missing home. The everything sucks phase comes and goes, but I am really working on maintaing a positive attitude while out here; I think it's absolutely vital for survival. The adjustment phase has yet to come but I am on the right path. And finally the reverse culture shock we are suppose to feel when we get back home, Ican't even phathom right now because it is just too far away.

I've had many memorable adventures already, such as getting lost at 1 am and not knowing where we live. Most of the time the taxi drivers speak only Korean and since we know barely any Korean everytime the driver says something we shake our heads yes, it's pretty hilarious. We finally caught on and had our co-teacher write our address in hangeul (Korean).

I am so blessed though to have a friend from home with me. Dawn is a great travel buddy and I definitely don't think I would be able to make it through this experience without her. This weekend we did our shopping and found that Costco in Korea is really overrated and over-priced probably because of importing a lot of the merchandise. Nevertheless, I bought a block of mild cheddar cheese for 9,000 won; the taste of cheese in Korea is just too different for my taste buds. Tomorrow I will get all my documents straightened out and meet some of the teachers at my school, maybe some students...yay!

Thoughts on life right now...

As human beings our biggest flaw is racing through life, and forgetting to pause and realize our true purpose. The meaning of our existence is beyond ourselves; the very essence of the human soul is its ability to transcend and touch another. It is through our warmth, compassion, and heart we attain the ability to love and be loved.  

Everything I ever wanted to Know About Love...

I learned from my parents...

Love is buying feminine napkins in France, on a snowy day, even though you don't speak French

Love is sitting through action movies even though you hate loud noises, blood and guts

Love is laughing and nodding at social events even though you really want to leave

Love is driving through gridlock on hot summer days, even though you have a migraine

Love is cooking a meal for your family, even though you've been working hard all day

Love is saying no I wont do it, even though you know you will

Love is walking with each other so neither has to walk alone

Love is trading the Is for an Us

Love is turning maybes into musts

Love is not dreamy or perfect

Love is not a fairy tale

Yet in love you do find "happily ever after"

It is the moment when you look back and analyze the trials and tribulations that carried you to true happiness and blessings

It is the ode of making it through the battles of life challenges

It is the faith that lead you to each other during moments of hopelessness

It is the light that guided you out of the darkest corners of yourselves

It is the inner peace that now consumes you

It is all these things and countless others

It is Love.

More to Come in August !!!

For everyone that is visiting my blog I will have more to come in August when I leave for South Korea. But for now feel free to follow me and I will continue to keep you all posted!

Anticipation sucks

June for me, is suppose to be a month of satisfaction; satisfied I survived another year of school, satisfied to turn another year older, satisfied that summer has began. However, this particular time around I'm filled with unpleasant anticipation. Counting down the days until I see my boyfriend, the minutes until my job location is verified, and the seconds until I can move out of my parents place for good! Oh yes time is of the essence.