It's the Eyeballs!!!

Most people think the fear of public speaking comes from the amount of people in the room, or who's in the room, but really it's the eyeballs that freaks people out. During my EPIK training one of the lecturers pointed this out to us, and I thought it over and she was completely right. I've taught 3rd, 5th and 6th grade, and even Korean teachers; it is the same no matter which group is in the room. Everytime I'm about to present I get that queasy feeling in the pit of my stomach, and my mouth gets real dry and starts to feel like cotton. I have that mental conversation with myself, "c'mon don't freak out" and I feel the calm before the storm until I make that first initial eyeball to eyeball contact. Now, that first eye contact can be crucial, especially if you fear public speaking as much as I do. The eyes can meet and you can have that friendly look like, "ya you're doing great, I totally agree" or you can have the eyeballs that give you that smirk like, "what the hell are you saying up there. "If you feed into it too much it can bring you down real fast, and before you know you're stumbling on all your words, constantly saying "yeah and um, and like, and you know..."and worst case scenario you totally blank out. However, the friendly eyeballs can give you that boost you need and you can totally breeze through the rest of the presentation. Whatever, the case I've learned you have to be ready for whatever eyeballs come your way. Man did I have some set of eyeballs stare me down today. Today was nerve racking because it was a Friday, and so naturally I'm like "TGIF" I have no classes and I can just sit at my desk and work at my own pace. However, today was different because it was the first introduction/lesson for my English Club with the Korean teachers at my school. I felt as though I truly did my best to present the material in a way they could understand without being condescending. But I had a mix of eyeballs; many people nodded there heads in agreement, others had interesting looks on their face. Mainly, I was worried about everyone understanding me and if anyone would come back next week. But, after my presentaton my co-teacher Bo-mi told me that I did a very good job and that she thinks they understood for the most part, what I was saying. She said I just need to slow down. Nevertheless, this is going to be a very interesting "conversational" class; there was not much conversation going on during this first class. I will give them a chance to warm up and plus I have to remember that Koreans are EXTREMELY shy. These people did not even want to introduce themselves, I thought that maybe there English was just terrible, but after they made there introductions I was pleasantly surprised to find that everyone's English was fairly good. Aside, from the awkward tension at the end and in between me talking I was pleased I made it out alive! I guess I'll just have to wait and see who comes back after today, hopefully it's not just Bo-mi and I! Anyways, to wrap things up, my week was exhausting but rewarding. I'm starting to feel more and more like a teacher; every week I get more comfortable speaking and interacting with everyone at my school. There is hope for a public speaking phobic, stick it out, don't be afraid to make a fool of yourself, because it will happen; especially if you're an American in Korea. I'm taking life lightly, laughing at my bloopers and living in the moment. The second picture in this post is Expo Bridge, a very famous and beautiful bridge in Daejeon, next to the Science Expo Museum. Daejeon is famous for science and technology. Also, friends and family please continue to leave me comments even if it's short and sweet, they really are pick-me-ups when I've had a bad day or am feeling homesick. I really appreciate them, thanks!