Spicy Day

It's Thursday people, and today was "SPICE-SAY" as my cute co-teacher Lana says! I mean that both literally and figuratively. I had a full day of teaching, and it felt great to get back in the classroom. A school without children is really no school at all. I always believed that statement but I never literally experienced that. There's a certain energy my students radiate and I feed off it; it gives what I do meaning and it's the only thing that keeps me going. For the past few weeks I was going through the motions of my job--running on autopilot. Day in and day out I would sit at my desk, thoughts racing, emotions up and down, and questioning what the heck am I doing in Korea! The negative side of me is saying this just a good day pure and simple, but the real me, "my gut" is saying this is why you're here. You have to discover a side of yourself you never knew you had in you, a side that you were to frighten to expose until moments like these.

I wish I could capture the expressions on my students faces when I walk into a room, they light up, like I'm the most famous person in the world. And it doesn't matter how long I've been gone or how boring and dry the lesson is they still have this contagious happiness; if you have a heart you can't help but smile. It was an infectious disease that last throughout the day. One 5th grade girl that religiously comes to my office after lunch to practice her English, brought two of her friends who were with her today. Also, after I came from the store one of my students saw me, and raced down to open the gate and walked my groceries all the way to my door. I had no idea some of my students even lived in the same building as me. Words can't describe the kindness these children have towards me and their motivation to learn. They study literally from sun up to sundown. They go to normal school from 8:30am-2:40pm, and then most parents enroll their children in "hagwons" which are after school English learning academies. Most of my students don't get out of these academies until 9 or 10pm. However, it's not uncommon to see children roaming around as late as midnight. In America, if a teacher gives students too much homework or a big project, parents will be the first to complain and ask that they "lighten the load."

For most of the time that I've been in Korea, I've complained that I was stuck here while all my friends, family, and boyfriend were back at home living their lives. I always felt like I was missing out; trapped in my own prison of time. But my friend Kim said it best, "life keeps moving forward-each and every single day-the clock is always ticking and we can never be stuck because life keeps on moving." So this is my life for the "now" this is my forward movement towards something I might not fully understand. It's a test of so many things, but mostly a test of faith. Can I believe that God has a greater plan for me? Can I take my chances that love is stronger than any facts or statistics? Can I envision the person I strive to be, and live that each day? Every day I get up and ask myself these questions after thanking God for the luxury of living, but in the back of my mind I already know the answer--YES!